If you’re on this page, you’re probably a man, living in or moving to San Diego and want to meet some ladies! You should take some time to ask yourself, if you’re interested in meeting someone for a long-term relationship or if you just want something relaxed and casual? Once you decide what you’re looking for you should meet people, either the traditional way (parties, sports, etc.) or using online dating websites. Once someone has caught your eye, some of the tips in this post might be helpful!
Men and women aren’t as different as you might think. Lots of the things that people perceive as big differences between the sexes, are really based on the specific personality of a person and whether or not they’ve had a bad day!
However, there are some qualities that the majority of women display (other than the anatomical ones), which you should keep in mind when making a connection with someone of the opposite sex.
The things you say are not as important as the way you make her feel
She knows that your actions speak louder than your words. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to pay compliments, but if you flatter her insincerely and she doesn’t feel you really mean it, your words won’t win you any points. Especially if you’re not much of a talker, the things you do can be more important than what you say…
The two of you might not see things from the same angle
Women often have an innate and unconscious ability to read into your what comes out of your mouth, your body language and your intentions. The validity of the conclusions they reach might be debatable, but its never easy to talk someone out of a gut feeling or impression that you make. Think before you talk and always try to see things from her perspective, in order to effectively empathize with her… even if you don’t agree with her about some things, you might be better off accepting that the two of you have a difference in opinions, rather than trying to convince her of your opinion… even if you’re sure its right.
She may be more articulate and emotionally intelligent then you are
Many women articulate their opinions and their ideas more frequently and clearly than men do. In addition, sometimes a woman will want to talk about her emotions and how she is feeling without expecting any sort of action or proposal of a solution on your part. Of course it depends entirely on the woman you’re speaking with, but some women prefer men who are similarly expressive about their emotions, as they feel better understood. Other ladies find men who are very in touch with their emotions unattractive, and prefer their guy to be a more traditional man, who is less emotive. Whichever kind of guy you are, make sure your interest as a potential romantic partner comes across, or you risk being perceived ‘just as a friend’ or even worse, she might think you’re not interested at all…
What does a woman want?
Guys have been asking themselves this question forever! As men we sometimes find it difficult to understand the conflicting needs of women. This raises questions in our minds:
We know women are our equals, but we also know that sometimes many want to be treated as ‘ladies’, to have chairs pulled out and doors opened, etc.. When does each case apply?
- When is the time to take action to make something you are discussing better, and when is she just venting and your only role is to listen and empathize?
- Should you play it cool or should you be affectionate and doting?
- What is the right answer for ‘trick’ questions (does this make me look fat?)
As you may already know, the answers to these questions depend upon the woman you’re speaking to and of course, the situation and setting you’re in. There are popular and effective courses to help you meet and find success with the opposite sex. Consider investing in learning more about women; you might be surprise about what you have yet to learn! There are few things discussed below, that most women find sexy.
Confidence – Ladies want a man who is self-assured and confident in himself, in both his words and his actions. There are lots of easy ways to display your confidence:
- Make eye contact – Making eye contact is a great way to show interest. Keep your eyes on their face and listen to the things they are saying. It’s not a staring contest, so you can look away or blink, but be sure to spend most of your time looking into her eyes!
Dress nicely – You’ll feel good if you look nice, and the easiest way to look nice is to dress well. This positive feeling will help you to be confident and self-assured, and people will sense this. Buy high quality articles of clothing to build up a wardrobe of versatile clothing that make you look great but won’t go out fashion too soon.
- Check your breath – Nobody wants to go out with the guy who has bad breath. You can reduce the risk of bad breath by brushing your teeth and your tongue at least two or three times per day. Floss too if you can, and chew sugar free gum every couple of hours to keep breath odors at a minimum.
Smell nice – Many women associate positive smells with attraction. If you smell nice, this will go a long way towards finding a date. Now, you may think your natural body odor smells fine or that you don’t actually smell at all. This is not true; you’re just around your own scent 24/7 so you’re desensitized to it. Shower every single day, in the morning, and again, before you go out. Use an antiperspirant to stop you from sweating. Don’t pick body spray or cologne yourself; ask a female friend to come with you and help you choose, or ask a woman working in the scent shop to help you choose. And once you’ve bought something, please don’t use too much! Someone covered in too much cologne or body spray is just as bad as being around someone with terrible body odor!
- Facial hair – This depends a lot on your personal preference. Clean shaven is never a bad choice, but stubble is also fine if it’s not too scruffy looking. Beards are currently in fashion, but some ladies can find them unattractive, so beware. Unkempt hair with bits of food trapped will not impress anyone, so if you decide on having facial hair, commit to keeping it well-groomed! Try different facial hairdos and see what fits your face best; it won’t take you too long to realize what looks good on you. Ask trusted friends to give you feedback on what works, or where you might improve.
- Watch your mouth! – Do not mumble. Do not shout. No swearing. Do not talk with your mouth full of food. Speak clearly and confidently, while looking at her eyes. Think twice before talking (to avoid putting your foot in your mouth). Don’t use words you’re not sure of the meaning of. Avoid language that she won’t understand or that will alienate her. Avoid terms that may be perceived as offensive. Smile!
Try to break the touch barrier – You need to be careful here. You want to show your interest, but not come off as creepy, grabby, or scummy. In early dates, go for gentle, playful, non-sexual touching that just shows her you are interested in her romantically. There are plenty of opportunities to do this, so don’t force it. Some possibilities are touching her arm to get her attention, dancing with her (if you can dance) giving her a hug hello or goodbye, patting her hand on the table to emphasize a point. This will provide her with an opportunity to respond, so you can see if she is interested in you. If she’s not interested, she’ll let you know, hopefully in a subtle manner. If she’s giving signs that your touch is not welcome, then stop trying!
- Keep the discussion rolling – Don’t dominate the conversation but be careful not to let it lag, otherwise you’ll just be looking at each other awkwardly. The easiest way to keep a constant level of chat going and to learn things about each other, is to ask questions about her. Nothing too personal on the early dates, but general stuff about interests, pets, travels, family, etc. If she asks you something, once you answer ask her question, then ask the same question back. This technique will allow you to have a conversation that you can both contribute to. Do your best to remember her interests and stories; this will help you later!
- Have an opinion – If you don’t know what you want, how you feel or the ability to make decisions, this will be interpreted as a lack of knowledge and lack of confidence in yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re choosing from a restaurant menu or picking a movie, a lack of opinion will not be appreciated. The correct answer to ‘what movie do you want to see’ should actually be you suggesting 2-3 movies you really do want to see. Then she can pick the one she likes best or make a counter-proposal. Think ahead so you already know the answers to ‘what do you want to do’ when the question comes up.