Over the past 50 years, things have changed a lot for women. These changes have been very positive for the most part, but it can also be frustrating and confusing sometimes. For the modern, single, straight woman to meet someone, the rules have really changed a lot since our parents dated. Regardless of age, a woman who is active on the dating scene needs to feel comfortable in their own skin, have a good understanding of guys, have a willingness to take some chances, and be able to step out of their comfort zone.
What people want to get out of a relationship varies greatly from person to person, regardless of gender, age and upbringing. What a woman wants from a relationship might change as she accumulates life experience. Its critical to make smart choices and decisions when it comes to dating in San Diego. To help, we’ve included some tips that are sure to help you find the relationship that’s right for you.
Take control… and put some effort in!
There isn’t much chance that a single attractive, brilliant, sensitive man with a good job and everything else you want will just walk into your life and sweep you away, at least until you put in a little bit of effort. You should start by thinking about ways to meet the kind of men that you are looking for. There are a whole lot of different ways to do this, depending on what kind of woman you are. You might decide to go out more often, or to try to attend more events that will attract and encourage interaction with single men. Maybe you want to try to chat more when you do run into someone who might be interesting, or ask one of your friends to set you up with someone. If you don’t have a whole lot of time and energy to put yourself out there, it might be a good idea to take advantage of the modern convenience of internet dating, so that you can connect with interesting guys. Whatever you decide, you already know that you can’t expect to find someone without taking control of your dating life and doing some work to meet people.
Be patient and don’t give up.
You can’t expect to meet the perfect person for you the moment you start looking; good things can take some time! The best way to find the right person for you, is to meet a lot of different guys and get to know them. I can almost guarantee that you’ll meet loads of men that are NOT quite right for you. You shouldn’t let this put you off, or feel disappointed when it happens; you should expect it and know that each man you meet who isn’t the right one, will bring you one step closer to the right man. You need to give yourself permission to make mistakes, take chances and to forgive yourself for occasionally using poor judgement. As long as you learn from your errors and adapt your tactics accordingly, you’ll find him. Don’t give up until you do!
Take a step back and question your ‘type’
“He’s just not my type…” Its the saying that ends most first dates and early relationships, before they get going. Its fine to have a ‘type’, and to be self-aware enough that you know it, but make sure you occasionally ask yourself if your type hasn’t changed at all…the guy you crush on in your teen years, is probably a lot different than the guy you want in your thirties or forties. Take some time to think about what you’re looking for in a man, and what you want from the rest of your life. Is your attraction primarily physical? This is fine if you want something casual, but his rock-hard abs and cool hair are not a good basis for a long term relationship. That moody, bad-boy you find so appealing…will he eventually end up beating the kids and kicking the dog? What you want and need at this particular stage in your life should probably be aligned. Ask yourself if you’re looking for something permanent or just a fling, and if what you want right now is really the best thing for you in the long run!
Make the most of your best assets
Most people, both men and women, are not totally satisfied with their physical appearance. The good news is that no one is perfect and while guys may like to look at movie stars and models, they don’t expect their real partners to hold up these unrealistic standards of beauty. Men have a remarkable degree of variability in the things they find attractive in a real woman. Dedicate some time to yourself and to optimizing your appearance. Go to the gym and train a couple of times a week to get in better shape. Shower or take a bath on a daily basis, and keep your hair and skin as nice as you can. Rely on some friends who will tell you the truth to let you know if your outfit doesn’t look good, or if you’re wearing too much makeup or scent. While nobody is perfect, everyone has certain parts that are amazing. These are the things you need to accentuate and draw attention to. Is it your eyes or maybe your lips? Your awesome hair? Maybe its your feet, your legs or your fingernails? Whatever your best features are, make sure you show them off as much as possible.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move
Some women have no problem taking the initiative in meeting men, but others seem to feel that they shouldn’t have to do anything but wait. Guess who is more successful meeting men? Now we’re not suggesting that you run across the room and straddle him (although this can also be an effective technique), but as a minimum, try to engineer an opening for him to chat to you. Put yourself somewhere near him in the room. Make an ‘innocent’ opening remark: ‘Hey, can you please pass me a straw?’ or ‘You’re Jim, right…no? Oh, sorry, you look like someone I know’. If he doesn’t talk to you, no harm done, but if he’s interested and available, he’ll use this kind of opening to further the conversation.
If you don’t mind being a bit more forward, just walk up, introduce yourself, chat for a little, tell him it was a pleasure to meet him and return to your table. The next move will be up to him….
Just be you…
When you meet someone new, you may feel tempted to change your personality to try and capture their interest. This is a mistake, so please don’t do this. Be yourself, otherwise you risk developing a relationship based on lies and false information. You won’t need to compromise yourself to impress the right guy. He will fall for your because you’re you, not because you’re pretending to be someone else.
Now, get out there, meet some people and enjoy yourself!