The First Date in San Diego

Before you go on your first date: Meeting someone to go out with in San Diego

This page is all about going on a first date, but before you go on a first date in San Diego, you’ll have to meet someone interested in you! The simplest way to do this is to join up with a couple of online dating websites. Internet dating has really taken off in the last decade; almost all the big dating sites have free sign-up so that people can sign up and look around with no risk. In my opinion, the best dating sites in you San Diego are:

OkCupid: I think that, OkCupid is one of the best online dating sites for San Diego residents. I like OkCupid because they let you do a Personality test, to define if you are compatible with potential matches. Basic membership is free and there are thousands of members. eHarmony is another popular website in the area. 

A couple snoodles under a san diego beach sunset
First dates in San Diego should be short but memorable.

Not interested in meeting people online? Then get out of your house and start talking to people. Start chatting to people at bars, in dance club, at the market, or anyone else you can. If you go the traditional route you need some confidence a high tolerance for rejection in person, but the more you practice, the less this will bother you…

Once you’ve found someone that you’d like to go out with, you’ll need to go out explore whether there is chemistry and physical attraction between the two of you…of course this is best done in person! If you don’t want something long term, then you should try to go out for the first time as early as possible before you invest a lot of effort!

Remember Murphy’s law and plan accordingly

When you’re dating, everything that can go wrong, will. Cars will break down, weather won’t cooperate, the movie you’re going to might be terrible enough to walk out However, as long as you plan for it this shouldn’t present a major issue. You should plan something that will be interesting for both of you. Then you should plan a couple of other things as alternatives. Be careful of what you plan, as things that you find interesting might be terribly boring for your date. Its great to be passionate about the things you like, but make sure the person you’re going out is really interested in what you plan to do!

Your secondary plans are an insurance policy, just in case you need to shift the venue or tweak your plans. Don’t worry, if the everything goes as planned on your first date you already have plans for the next one. Suggest your plan for next time at the end of a successful first date or in a call a few days after, to see if your date is excited by the prospect of something more in the future.

Make the First Date Short and Sweet

You think there’s a chance you’ll hit it off and get along great or you wouldn’t be going out at all, but you may find that once you’re out together, you really don’t get along. So why tempt fate and risk being trapped on a date-from-hell all day, if you already know you don’t like them in the first hour? Yes, you could bail early, but this is bad form and depending on how you met the person, may have repercussions. So, why not plan the first date to be no longer than 1-2 hours in duration. If things are going well, you can already have something in mind to extend the date, or just make a second date.

A San Diego Sunset
Make the first date in San Diego memorable!

Make the First Date Special

A first date doesn’t need to be costly, to take too much planning, but try to make it a date that will stick in their head. A pretty sunset or a great view are free-of-charge and will leave a lasting impression. Try to do something that is cool and memorable, but not too crazy. What about the zoo, a water park or a an ice cream at the beach? Perhaps picnic somewhere? Be creative and try to make it fun and fitting to the interests of your date…

The First Date Should Not Be a Surprise

Sometimes, surprises can be a lot of fun. Sometimes its good to be spontaneous. While big surprises work for romantic encounters in the movies, in real-life a first date is stressful, packed full of anticipation and will come with more than enough surprises without you having to add more. Let your date know where you’re taking them. Of you’re going for food, let them know so they don’t eat beforehand, or they can let you know if they have special dietary needs.  Let them know if you’re taking them somewhere fancy where they’ll need to dress up and let them know what you’re wearing so they can match accordingly. Plan to hit the zoo or go to a theme park, then let them know that.  This will let your date get mentally prepared for the date and will give them an opportunity to let you know if they would rather do something else.

Be on time forr you san diego date
Don’t be late; you only get one chance to make a first impression!

Be On Time For Your First Date in San Diego

The first date usually has some stress or expectations associated with it and you want to make a good impression. This is doubly true if you’ve met on the internet and your first date is also your first face-to-face meeting. This angst is amplified when if one of the two people shows up late. And to make it People start thinking that you’ve stood them up or maybe you’ve been in some sort of accident… or that you’re just inconsiderate! Be there on time and if for some reason your tardiness is unavoidable, be sure to call or text your date to put their mind at ease.

Talk About What To Wear

A pair of san diego boots
Let your San Diego date know if they need any special clothing or footwear!

If your date needs to wear or bring along some sort of special attire you should let them know! This includes formalwear, sportswear, outdoor gear, rain clothes, swimsuits, and everything else that are not standard, daily garb. If your date does not need to wear or bring anything out of the ordinary, let them know that too; this will help set their mind at ease.

If it’s your first meeting, then wear something to set you apart from the crowd and let your date know what to look for to find you without effort. You don’t want your date to have to ask around in order to find you! Make it easy for them…

Be Complimentary, but Don’t Kiss Up Too Much

You should say positive things about your date, but try to be honest about it. Only compliment them for what really strikes you as interesting or attractive. Don’t talk about the obvious physical stuff; its ok to tell someone they have beautiful long eyelash but not appropriate to discuss the majesty of their breasts (at least not on the first date!). Your safest bet is to discuss aspects of their personality that you find pleasing. Are they funny? Do you think their job is really cool? Are they very bright? Don’t over-flatter or provide compliments that are dishonest, as you’ll come off as desperate or insincere. 

Limit Your Alcohol Intake

Too much alcohol can ruin your date in San Diego
Don’t get too drunk on your San Diego date!

While a drink or two can relax the both of you and make your first date in San Diego go a little smoother, you need to be careful. Did you make sure your date is not a recovering alcoholic, religiously-prohibited or just doesn’t like to drink? Please do this before you order a drink otherwise you risk making your date awkward. Its fine for you to have a drink (even if they decide not to), as long as they’ve let you know it doesn’t make them uncomfortable. Don’t overindulge though; drinking too much can be a disaster on the first date. Be sure you don’t ruin date before it even get started!

Be Sure You’re Having a Conversation, not a Monologue

Have you ever been out with someone who doesn’t talk at all? What about someone who can’t stop talking? Either situation is a first date disaster. If you’re not too talkative, then think up (or Google) some conversation starters before the date. If you know you like to talk and tend to speak even more when you’re a little nervous, be sure you’re not the only one talking! Ask open questions that will draw your date into discussion. Topics like mutual interest, travels, careers are good. Avoid religion and politics or any other areas where your world views might differ greatly.

Personal and Oral Hygiene

Brush your teeth and look good for your San Diego date
Pay attention to your cleanliness and hygene before going on your San Diego date.

No one wants to go on a date with someone who has terrible breath, filthy clothes, or an unpleasant body odor. Tidy yourself up! Take a long shower with soap to clean up all your nooks and crannies, brush your teeth and tongue well, buy some chewing gum, clean the gunk out of your ears and make your hair look as good as it can. Be sure to ask a neutral third party about how you could better your appearance. Ask them how you look in the clothes you’re thinking of wearing. Pay attention to details: shine your shoes, iron your shirt, and trim those nose hairs! Be certain you look good and smell great!

Best of luck on your first date in San Diego!!